Breakdown
*Disclaimer:
I cuss in this post.
Sorry!
I'm a pretty put together girl.
I cuss in this post.
Sorry!
I'm a pretty put together girl.
I'm always professional. I'm always on time (My motto? If you are early, you are on time. If you are on time, your're late!)
I never argue. I never question. I always do what is asked of me.
I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS put my children (in school! I don't have any of my own babes yet) first. They have and always will be my first priority.
Yesterday, I hit my breaking point,.
I can't believe I am even blogging about this, but I am.
I teach over 100 kids a day.
Each one of my classes has at least 30 students in it.
I normally can handle all of them with no problem.
Yesterday...I just couldn't handle it.
It was so bad, one of my classes saw me BREAK DOWN in tears.
I had to leave the room.
Let me put it to you this way...I teach some of the most disrespectful students you will ever see.
It is not their faults. They were raised this way.
Most of them come from broken homes and don't know any better.
(Let me first begin by saying that our A/C was OUT AGAIN. It was freakin HOT....this probably didn't help.)
(Let me first begin by saying that our A/C was OUT AGAIN. It was freakin HOT....this probably didn't help.)
It all started with my 1st period class. Most of them were out of uniform. Just wearing whatever they felt like wearing. I had to send them out to the office to call parents so that they could bring them their proper uniforms.
THE ENTIRE CLASS started questioning me. Again.
"Mrs. B....why you didn't send her to the office when you send me?"
"Miss...This dress code sucks."
"Miss. I ain't callin my momma."
Same questions, over and over and over and over and over and over.
I just ignored them and continued on with the lesson.
Bell rings, and here comes period 2. My biggest class at 38 kids.
It takes me TEN minutes to get them all quiet and in their seats. It takes ANOTHER ten minutes for them to get paper and pens out to take notes.
One student sat there and refused to do anything.
When I asked him why he wasn't participating, he said, "I don't feel like it."
Fine. I ignored him,
But when he started talking about me under his breath and involving other classmates??? Oh no.
I ask him to leave. He says "He hates this fuckin class anyway."
Then he walks out.
Kids start laughing like this is funny. Will NOT STOP laughing.
I'm already kinda feeling frazzled at this point.
Bell rings. All kids leave.
Then....period 3...or, as I will refer to them, the "icing on the cake".
This class is supposed to be finishing a test.
No one will be quiet. I've asked. I've yelled. I've begged. I've pleaded.
Other classmates have told the disrespectful 10 students to be quiet.
They still won't listen,
Then...someone pulls out one of those EFFING laser pointers and starts shining it in my eyes.
Then another student starts cussing at another one.
Then all kids start talking. Laughing. Cutting up.
One kid keeps making the same noise loudly over and over...."Whewww....Whewwwww......Whewww...."
My eyes started welling up with tears.
I called for an administrator and I walked out of the class and went to the ladies room.
I hit my breaking point.
***Quick note: these kids act this way for all their teachers. They normally act OK for me (maybe that's why I started crying. I don't know). This is why six of the teachers have walked out and left us high and dry.
Y'all. I am a human being. I deserve to be treated with respect. These kids deserve to be treated with respect.
They need LOVE more than anyone. I try my best. I try so freakin hard. I can't tell you how many nights I've gone home and cried because of these kids.
I don't know why yesterday I started crying. These kids have acted worse before and I just let it roll right off my back. WHY DID I HAVE TO CRY?!?!?!?!!?
Why do I have to be the one human being who wears her stupid heart out on her sleeve?!?!!?
Why did I let this get under my skin so badly?
I know everyone has their good days and bad days. I'm just sad that I let it bother me this much.
The picture below pretty much sums up how I felt at the end of the day yesterday.
The picture below pretty much sums up how I felt at the end of the day yesterday.
Have you ever reached your breaking point?
86 comments:
I know EXACTLY how you feel! I teach 4th graders and I have 2 or 3 in my class that are so disrespectful and defiant that I've hit my breaking point a few times this year (including crying). Tuesday was so bad that I walked out of my classroom as soon as the last bell rang and went home.
I'm sorry that you had an awful day, I hope today is a better day (I think it will be).
Hang in there.
xox
I had a hord of thugs and a crap principal last year, I totally feel your pain. It's so hard to keep a professional attitude when you just want to cuss and scream at them for acting the way they do.
There has got to be something in the water or a full moon or something! We had 9 kids go OSS in 7th block alone yesterday. I found this out while I was trying to get help on a seating chart for a class that included 5 of them! None of the OSS incidents were related! I have another 3 from the same class ISS, at least it will be quiet for awhile. Today will be better, but sometimes you just have to file it under fuck it and eat a piece of chocolate :)
You care, and you're human. You said it yourself; it's that simple, and that complex. Blessings to you for a much improved day today. xoxo
Oh my goodness...that sounds like a terrible day.
Let me just say THANK YOU! Thank you, Thank you.
This world needs more people like you. It's very sad that our best and brightest minds go to Wall Street, instead of becoming teachers and helping the next generation.
I realize it can be a pretty thankless job at times. The kids who need help the worst, sometimes appreciate it the least. It really bothers me when people complain about bad teachers or teacher unions because I cannot imagine anyone doing the job for any other reason than THEY LOVE TO TEACH & WORK WITH CHILDREN.
Anyhow, sorry to rant on your blog...but I really appreciate people like you and hope that you feel it!
Keep your head up woman! Sending good vibes to you at school today!
Michelle...it's totally OK to feel like this sometimes. I work at a school that sounds alarmingly similar to yours and I deal with this battle a lot. I think sometimes, no matter how good your heart is, or how strong your willpower is, it gets to be overwhelming. It's HARD to go to a job every day where you don't always (or even half the time) feel respected: by kids or by staff. It's natural to hit a breaking point and to have a bad day. I feel for you and am totally here if you need to vent (Lord knows I vent to my friends and boyfriend A LOT about it--even broke down at a wedding once...now THAT was embarrassing haha). Hang in there! *HUGS*
Sorry you had such a bad day. That sounds awful! you are only human.
I am worried about the future of our society. We would never dream of that kind of blatant disrespect to our teachers.
A HUUUUUUUUUGE thumbs up to you for doing what you do.
Just trying to help my Kindergartener and 1st grader with homework is stress inducing enough for me. I couldn't imagine doing it all day, every day with 30+ kids in each class!
Teachers like you are very, very, very much appreciated!!
(((hugs)))
I'm so sorry! I would have broken down too! That's a lot to take on and after doing it every day, you just hit that point! They should be grateful to have you as their teacher. You are an amazing person and are extremely dedicated. Hope you have a better rest of the week!
XOXOXOOX
Aw sounds like a pretty rough day lady. I don't teach so I can't say anything about that but I do work at a nursing home and let me tell you, not every old lady is sweet as a peach. There are a lot of nasty people in this world and they grow up to be nasty seniors. Normally I can let comments roll off my back but one day one of the ladies commented on my weight and wouldn't let it go. I too had to leave the room because I could feel tears coming. Then not only do you feel badly because of what was said, but now you feel embarrassed for letting it get to you. We all have those days and unfortunately hearing that probably doesn't make it any better. But I'm sure when you go back in there, everything will be back to normal. Good luck xo
point being michelle: you ARE human and you are doing the BEST you can. that's all anyone can do! everyone has horrible days and eventually we have our breaking moments but dont get yourself down. you're helping them in the long run. you're making a dIFFEreNCE. :) xo
I totally understand. I teach in a high poverty school and have had my fair share of struggles. Luckily, I only have one class that is a problem...but when a class is bad...when they are disrespectful it hurts your feelings. Maybe instead of just asking maybe you can start setting down punishments (detentions, extra assignments, etc.). Maybe they won't do them but if they don't you can then refer them to administration. I've noticed the more I've been teaching that threats don't work....and asking doesn't always work. I'm sure you'll have better days. Maybe you just need to shock them. I've heard of a teacher hiding in a closet...lol...look it up.
I give you so much credit for doing what you do. The fact of the matter is that you are human & honestly, we need more people in this world who wear their hearts on their sleeves. I have trouble seeing that as a sign of weakness. You do the best you can & that's the best you can do. I would be more concerned if you didn't have a breakdown out of pure frustration. I am not a teacher but I work with kiddos with behavioral problems so I know where you are coming from. Hang in there & keep making a difference! *hugs*
Oh bless you heart that makes me hurt for you. I have worked with a few that have almost made me hit my breaking point--just not yet. Praying for you today as you jump right back in. Keep your head up because you may be the biggest light of these kids lives.
Never being in your shoes, I cannot even begin to understand how upsetting this was for you. However, I do sympathise and pray that things get better, that today is a better day, the those kids learn that what you are showing them is love and they learn to respect you as their only shining light. Hang in there girl!
by the way, you're human and you're allowed to cry :-)
my own children get me to that point sometimes. Homework with 8 yo is a total nightmare and I understand by 4pm he's out of gas but he still has to get the work done. Kids sometimes have to know you're human but don't let them mistake it for weakness.
I'm so sorry you had a bad day yesterday, and I'm sure the no air situation didn't help at all.
It's so weird how we were talking about how students act yesterday at work and now a days they don't care because their parents don't care about them. You are an excellent teacher, and it's great that you put them first. All teachers should be like this, if they were those others "teachers" would have still been there trying to teach this students and not being another person to walk out on them.
*Hugs from me to you* Hope you have a better day today!
I read your tweet yesterday and I'm glad you decided to post this blog. It's good to get the stuff out and get support from others.
I, for one, think you are an amazing person for what you do. you want to help these kids when other people may not care about them. It goes a long way in showing the type of person you are. So you wear your heart on your sleeve - you're human, it's okay. I hope they shape up a bit, even bad kids realize when they've hurt someone.
I hope today is a better day for you! Big hugs to you!
The world needs more teachers like you, girl. Love you!
I agree with Heather, there def needs to be more teachers like you. I applaud all the amazing teachers like you. I honestly, could not do it. Everyone has a breaking point. Keep on trucking girl, and keep being an amazing teacher. <3
Wow, those kids are so disrespectful!
38 kids in one class?! That's way too much!!!
My parent work in the same field as you (teacher and school's principal) and they tell me stories like that!
As a kid, I would never have done something like that!
I am SO sorry you're having to deal with that... I know first hand how bad these kids can be!! I've hit my breaking point in the hospital and in the school. I had several patients be mean to me in the hospital and I just lost it one day right in the middle of the unit in front of everyone! And same thing at a school when a student cusses me out. These kids are out of control and need some discipline at home!!
Could this blog post...and the comments...be any more amazing??
Michelle - girlfriend, I appreciate you and everything that you do for the students that you teach. What you give to them - no matter how unappreciative they seem - goes unnoticed. And, by you breaking down, you showed them that you are human...just like they are. Kids today have it rough. It's a shame that a lot of parents assume little to no responsibility for their children once they are in school. Hello...they are a representation of you, so make sure you raise them right, right??
Education in our country is going to hell in a handbasket. This post touched my heart. Really, it did. I'm an aspiring teacher. I'll graduate in December with an MSEd. I'm scared shitless to teach. It's not the students who scare me. It's the lack of respect & the uncertainty that come with the job. People assume that teachers have a cushy job & make great money. Um, it's the exact opposite. In my city, we're currently facing a $40 million dollar budget cut in education alone. Yikes.
Anyways...sorry to ramble about budgets, jobs, salaries, etc.
You are an amazing person...an amazing teacher...and you inspire me. File yesterday under fuck it and keep doing what you're doing.
Um, what I meant to say is what you give to them DOESN'T go unnoticed. Damn you, Keurig, for having issues this morning!! Mama needs caffeine!
You are amazing, Michelle! The world needs more teachers like you! Hope today is so much better! Lubz you!
I am so sorry you had such a bad day yesterday. You are an amazing person who has taken on a challenge that most wouldn't. There is a special place in heaven for you. I respect you so much for taking on something I could never do myself. Everyone hits their breaking point, it is normal. I hope things start to look up for you. And if not tell them Mrs. Monologues will be coming to visit and they don't want my wrath **Snaps fingers**
So my husband's best friend is a band teacher and his wife has her own piano lesson business (she has her business license and a college degree) while also teaching flute to kids in her husband's band. I guess the other day someone told her that she was "aiming low" in life for being a teacher and that she picked an easy career.
I can't say enough how much I appreciate all the teachers out there who work as hard as our friends do and as you do. Like you said, so many people have just walked out of the school you work at but you stay despite being so disrespected. This country needs more teachers like you and it also needs more people who understand what it means to not just be a teacher but a good teacher.
I'm so sorry you had a day like this but you're still willing to hold your head high, go back into that classroom and carry on. That is extremely admirable.
i truly hope your students find more discipline in their minds and appreciation in their hearts for you.
There must be something in the water because our 7th graders were unbelievably disrespectful on a field trip yesterday! As a teacher a fellow teacher, sometimes we need to remind ourselves that WE ARE HUMAN. And when you put so much effort (more than anyone knows) into your job, and you want to help kids, and you want them to have a good life, and learn...and on some days you feel like the ONLY one who wants that for them its SO HARD.
Girrrl, I can't even imagine. I have had bad days at my job too but I'm not a teacher. I actually started my degree in education and changed majors after my observations. I knew that I would be heartbroken and frustrated a lot of the time if I chose the profession. I give you so much praise for doing what you do. Hoping your bad day passes soon!
Michelle, I can NOT even imagine how tough your job must be. Teaching, let alone teaching kids who need more love like you said. You're right, you're a human being, which also means you're allowed to have these moments. It's normal to feel upset/heartbroken when these kids act like this. Don't beat yourself up about it, just know if it happens again, it's OKAY! You are an amazing teacher who is doing her damn best! XOXOXOX
My hat is off to you! You do have a really tough job with these kids. I know I am lucky with my position but even sometimes I can relate and know exactly how you feel. You are a fantastic teacher with one of the biggest hearts I have ever met. It really saddens me that these kids are this bad because of the lack of love in their lives. Makes my heart hurt. I know you are making a difference in their lives. I know this because you are one of the most genuine people I have ever met.
Awww! Do not worry- we all have those moments! I teach at an alternative school and my kids can be unbelievably rude. Yesterday, I brought in soda and cupcakes for this kids and one kid (H.S. age-no less) started just drinking from the bottle before some of the kids even had a chance to get a drink. I had to count to ten so I wouldn't go off the deep end.
Sometimes we just have to remember that this is how they were raised and why they need us so much!
Awwww bless your heart that just sounds terrible and frustrating! Reason #3900 why I could never be a teacher and why teachers deserve SO much more credit and pay than they get. It definitely takes a special person, and I'm sure you are fabulous at it. I'm so sorry you had a bad day like that. That's definitely enough to push any girl over the edge. I would have smacked some kid upside the head...see what I mean about why I couldn't teach. Hang in there, I know you love the kids and sounds like they really need you. Hope today is better!
Awe Im so sorry I dont see how you work with kids everyday. I dont work with kids but I get so mad when I go grocery shopping. It makes me want to jerk up some kids and just beat them.
Hope your day today is better:) drink a bottle of wine and get a hot bubble bath ooh maybe I should do that tonight hahaha
Bless your heart! I would have broken down too. My mom teaches 6th/7th graders and the disprespect absolutey floors me. I will never understand, but I'm so glad there are still awesome teachers (like you!!) out there to try and steer them in the right direction!! Keep fighting the good fight!!
That's the absolute worst. I'm so sorry and I really hope they felt bad yesterday and that today will be better for you. Kids can be such assholes.
I have cried in front of my boss quite a few times, and she's actually cried with me before.
The last time I was in the community I was in training and sat there bawling my eyes out in the class for a good 20 minutes. It was lovely haha... everyone was super supportive though (long story).
Crying is natural, and it's such a shame that we have to hit a breaking point for it to come out and then we are totally embarrassed.
First of all, we have never met, but I want to give you a BUG virtual hug and squeeze!! Teachers are the MOST amazing people and don't get even half the credit that they deserve. I seriously don't know how you all do it. You put your blood, sweat and tears into those kids day in and day out. It's so sad that so many of these them come from broken homes and get no love or supervision whatsoever. Both of my sister in laws are middle school teachers and I hear stories from them all the time. It breaks my heart. Just keep doing what you are doing, don't give up. I am sure that they love you and just want attention. You are probably the only stability that they have. I applaud you and look up to what you do every day. Thanks for teaching our kids!
I can't related to the teaching part. (I'm not a teacher) But I do love kids. And I wear my heart on my sleeve too. Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes it's just plain annoying that I can't hide my emotions at all. I can't imagine how hard it is to deal with disruptive and disrespectful students, but I do wish there were more teachers out there like you, who genuinely care about their students. So thank you for that! :)
I work in a corporate office. My boss is an attorney (no longer practicing law) and she likes to bring up political topics during work because she knows how conservative I am and that her opinions get under my skin. She made me cry during an office lunch a couple weeks ago. So I feel your pain about wearing your heart on your sleeve.
Chin up! Praying that today is a better day for you :)
Michelle, you are doing an amazing job! Keep it up! Look at it this way you might not feel like your reaching those kids but you are!
You are awesome for caring so much. My friend taught in Detroit & had many of the same stories. I want to punch & hug these kids at the same time. You are doing an amazing thing. Chin up, buttercup :)
Being a teacher is a hard job. I have a teaching degree... I just don't use it. In fact in MO (not sure about other states) it expires after 5 years and you have to renew it. I didn't renew mine. I'm not sure I could handle the dis-respectfulness. I subbed my first year out of college b/c I couldn't get a job (I have a specialized degree) and it was awful. And I know subs have it worse sometimes than teachers and definitely better than teachers. But what I don't get is why it seems (seems being the key word) like kids are becoming more and more disrespectful as the years go by. Maybe they were that way when I was in school, and I was just a good kid and didn't notice b/c I took the upper level classes so I was around the good kids... I really don't know. But I love to know there are still teachers out there who care and I think you're doing a whale of a job. Don't let the punks get you down... LOL.
And when I did my student teaching, our professors made "surprise" appearances randomly. The day that happened I got chased with a snake skin and then cussed out by a student. Yeah it was awful and that affected my grade in that class. Unfortunately it seems to happen to the best of us.
How awful! Sorry your day was so bad!
i am SO SORRY you had to deal with that and if i could give you a big, huge hug i would. but you seem like a teacher that actually cares and wants to help and just stick with that because these kids need someone sweet like you in their lives. i hope today was better!!
OH HUN! I'm so sorry! :( I went to a high school much like you're describing, and I can't imagine what some of our teachers went through. I wish those kids could realize what an amazing person you are, and that you're trying to help them! :( I think everyone has a breaking point, and I too wear my heart on my sleeve, so I totally get the needing to cry. Just try to remember the good you're giving these kids...even if they don't look at it that way.
I am sorry you had to go through this Michelle, but am so glad you decided to share with us! I remember being one of the students who had to put up with the disrespectful nature of a lot of the students, and I remember I always felt awful for the teacher. I would go out of my way to be nice to try to make up for the other students.... Just know Michelle that your work is appreciated by a lot of people, and you are changing the world even if it doesn't seem like it!
<3
Sorry to hear about your bad day. Your entitled to one day where you can't deal with the usual. Hopefully it gets better :)
Yes, we have all had those days. I really hope you have a great administration. I have been in a school that had tough students and a hands off administration-Everyone for themselves. I always wondered if my efforts would ever pay off, when a few weeks before I left teaching a parent of one of my first students emailed me a paper he wrote. In it he thanked me for requiring so much of him and demanding he put his best forward each day. This from a kid that I almost left teaching over. I promise you are making a difference!
I hate to hear about your bad day! I run an event over the summer with about 300 kids and the older ones - who are 17 and I'm 25 - like to think they are my equal and "You can't tell me what to do" kind of attitude. BLESS YOU for teaching them everyday though! Our education system needs people like you! I would never be able to handle being a teacher! My hat is off to you lady!
well i can totally tell you are a teacher because your story telling is impeccable.
i used to be a photographer for the school district here. yep i took everyone's school/yearbook picture. the elementary kids weren't bad..and the high school kids were okay but i absolutely dreaded going to middle schools. and i only had them for 5 min tops so i definitely think you are one brave brave woman for doing that everyday. give yourself a pat on the back.
Girl, I feel you and totally LOVE that pin at the bottom! So perfect. Sometimes you just have to call it a wash and try again the next day. I teach kindergarten and while they are SO much different (and all loved incredibly at home) I still have days that are hopeless...those kids are SO incredibly lucky and blessed to have you! I just want to give you a giant hug then shhit chat about all the bullshiz teachers put up with over numerous bottles of wine (or tequila!) hang in there....only FIFTEEN days until spring break!!
I HATE crying at work. It's not just teaching. Every profession will push you to your breaking point at one point or another and I think it is especially hard for people pleasing/overachiever girls. But do not linger on it. it happened. let it go. You did exactly the right thing and went to the bathroom to have your moment. Trust me it has happened to EVERY working girl I know at one point or another. This too shall pass and tomorrow is another day. **HUGS!!**
Your post brought me to tears. I have to guess that you teach either middle or high school. It breaks my heart that you try so hard and don't get the respect your deserve. I know you are an amazing teacher and those kids will look back and thank you one day. Keep your chin up...I know they will come around. But I do hope you went home and had a nice big glass of wine :) **Hugs**
Oh Michelle! You are so amazing! I am pretty certain that there is no way I could do what you do especially on days like this. I HATE crying. With a passion. I hate it. I don't know why but I just always have. So when I do reach my breaking point and cry I usually feel the exact same way you do. Pissed that I let something get to ME so much! I'm so thankful you shared this! It just shows us readers how special you truly are!
I substitute teach at one of the worst schools in my city and I can completely relate to how you feel. These kids I have all the time sometimes just snap and make me break down. It makes me want to call their parents and just shake them for not teaching their kids how to behave. I fear how much worse it's going to get in the future.
Oh lord yes, we all reach that point at some time in our lives, maybe several times or more. You are only human! Sounds like you are trying to make a difference and that you were just having a bad day. I can't imagine trying to deal with that many kids, let alone ones that act up like that. I think you've done great holding it together this long. Try not to beat yourself up too much; I know I know, easier said than done.
Oh honey I'm so sorry. The high school I went too was just like that. I used to see kids just out of control. I used to think they didn't get beat enough at home. I got my ass kicked if I acted like those kids, no matter my age. So sorry you had to go through that.
Oh you poor thing. Thank you for all that you do, for loving all of those kiddos and truly making a difference in their lives. Please know that you ARE appreciated and that the world could use more teachers like you!!
I have no idea how you feel - I work with adults all day in an office setting. But I just want to say THANK YOU for your work in our school system. You are an amazing person for being a teacher, but then to teach children like this....We've never met, but I am so proud of you! It is great to know good things are happening out in the world. I work in the corporate world and give back through the Church. You give back in your work and I can tell you relax by blogging and Pinning!! We're all here, behind you 100%. We're all listening and praying for you. and we are all SO GRATEFUL for you and your school! We truly are! **hugs!*
oh.my.gosh. I could NEVER be a teacher for this very reason. You handled it much better than I could have
I would've broken down long before this. In fact, I would've been one of those teachers who left you high and dry. Michelle, you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for! When these kids are grown and have realized what respect is, my guesses are that many of them will think back to you and the respect you always showed them. Keep your chin up sweet girl!
As someone who wears my heart on my sleeve as well ... I give you major major kudos for being a teacher to these kids everyday ... I think you are absolutely amazing! Everyone breaks down, everyone has bad days - but you are strong and inspirational teacher! There should be more of you in the world girl! xoxo
Aw honey, I'm so sorry that happened. I know I definitely have days where for whatever reason, I just can't take it. Whether its hormones, or life just been overly trying - who knows. It happens. You're still an amazing teacher and person, and one breakdown or fifty won't change that. What's really impressive is that even though these kids were being really misbehaved you still say how much you care about them, and how it's not their fault, and you want to do best by them. That's very impressive and speaks to what a great teacher and person you are. You rule! Best of luck to you! I hope it gets better.
This.was.my.day...don't they just drive you nuts somedays-so disrespectful and immature..then there are the good days, which is why we started teaching in the first place right!
I taught music K-12 before I had my babies. TOTALLY. UNDERSTAND. HOW. YOU. FEEL. My fifth and six graders were the same as what you describe. I HATED that part of teaching. Especially the when they get noisy and disrespectful part. Oh I feel for ya. And don't feel bad for crying!! What else is a person supposed to do? I hate disrespect more than anything else. No one should have to put up with it. And no one has ANY excuse to be that way. SERIOUSLY.
I can't imagine being a teacher. Just take comfort in the fact that you will be done with them in a few months and can start fresh in the fall with new (hopefully better) kids. If I were a teacher, I'm sure I'd be on the news for attacking a child. Sorry your day sucked ass and I hope it gets better girl! :)
Oh Michelle that really sucks! So sorry you have to deal with this on a daily basis. It is so sad for these kids that they are not loved enough by their families and therefore act this way. I hope things get better for you or that you can find a job at another school? If that is something you are even interested in. Hang in there and don't worry about breaking down. It happens.
Great post- Sorry such a stressful day had to happen michelle- I think we've all been to that breaking point before- and i think that "let's file it under fuck it" is the PERFECT way to sum it up!! i know damn well teaching takes a very special, strong person to hang in there- so at least you're giving your time trying to give these kids a better chance out there. Hang in there!!! Much love!!
Michelle, I adore you for posting this, because you have shown everyone how HARD it is to be a teacher and everything we deal with on a daily basis. And we have ALL been there - at our total breaking point. I believe I hit mine on Tuesday with my 3rd hour class. Just remember that you are SO strong and these kids will realize how lucky they are someday!
Oh Michelle, I am so sorry. My heart hurt for you when I read this post. I went to an inner city high school where there were a lot of classes like yours. I hope you know you are doing a wonderful thing and please don't give up. Those kids need someone like you.
I teach in a school that sounds a lot like yours. We ALL have days that we need to file under "fuck it." Just remember that was yesterday. I try really hard to not carry over bad feelings (it happens sometimes, I'm far from perfect.)You cry because your human, you care, you love them, and it sucks.
I did two years with City Year, an AmeriCorps non-profit working in under-resourced schools in NYC and Los Angeles. It's hard, and educators work really hard. I commend you for your work and that you always put the kids first. Fortunately, you understand that it's how they've been raised and you continue to stick with it. You can do it, Michelle! You're awesome!
Michelle, you are seriously one of the bravest people EVER. Not lying. I could never do the job that you do, like never in a million years. And i know plenty of people that could never handle it either. I would have break downs every single damn day.
You are such a wonderful and loving person. Those kids need someone to love them and care for them. They NEED you!
I send you a blog hug.
Wow...I know slightly how you feel...I wait tables a couple nights a week and this week happened to be on valentines night...it was busy, overwhelming and sometimes people can be downright rude...I cried...but it felt good and now i'm over it. hang in there girl. you're an inspiration and those kids need you whether they know it or not..
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You cried because you care.
I don't know if I could have held it together as long as you could. Like one of the other girls said, it is some of the worst students that need you the most. The fact that even though you had to escape for the moment, you are not leaving these kids all together and that is something to be proud of.
I read the first line of the comment before me, and totally agree. You care about them. You care about teaching in general. You care about them learning something. You care about them feeling loved since they don't get that at home. You can't be put-together every day, even though it would be nice to be like that...so it's ok to cry and be frustrated. You are a STRONG woman and I know you must be a fabulous teacher, and I give you SO much respect for teaching in that kind of a school system!!! Just keep your chin up, but know that it's ok to cry once in a while. These kids will thank you someday, whether they know it or not.
I know exactly how you feel...I teach in one of the lowest income schools in our city. It's a charter school. The last two weeks have been REALLY hard on us. I don't know why...like people said, there must be something in the water!! Spring fever.
So sorry that your students are being so awful. Just know that you are doing good and it is only natural to have things get to you on occasion. Stay strong sister!
I have a HUGE respect for teachers. You and SAHM's have THE toughest jobs, ever. Hands down.
I couldn't imagine. The names, the disrepect ... everything. But I know that for every handful of bad kids, there are awesome kids. And I know that you have an impact on them .... 10 years from now down the road, you'll have those few who will surprise you ... who will come back to visit and you both will talk about the good 'ole days!
I have breaking points often - it's human nature. You're not alone.
You're an amazing teacher!! There are times when people get under our skin, we can't help it. It will help those kids to see you cry, to know that you are human, to see they have done something wrong. I can only imagine teaching a class of that many "older" kids. You're amazing, an inspiration. Remember that...
:( I'm so sorry. As a fourth grade teacher in San Antonio, I understand the pressures of STAAR combined with kid issues. Hang in there...almost spring break!
You are such a beautiful person to care so much. I'm sorry you had such a crummy day, but keep your head high and know that these kids are getting a shot at learning to be better people from you! <3
Oh love I'm sorry you had to deal with this. Don't be hard on yourself for hitting that breaking point - there is only so much stress your body can take! You did your best and you are only human. I think I would cried way before then! Hang in there and you are changing your student's lives just by being you. xoxo.
Oh I despised those kinds of kids when I was in school. They aggravated me so much. My first school I went to was so motivating. Everyone participated and was very respectful. Then I moved to a new place and it was the complete opposite.
Trust me when I say this...I would have cried day one so nope you are not the only human being who wears her heart on her sleeve
There has been plenty of times where I have reached a breaking point. Usually crying it out actually helps me. It helps me think more clear afterwards.
My question is do you involve the parents at all? Ask them why their kid acts like that? I point blank asked my sons teacher if he was respectful to her, other teachers, and the kids. Good thing she said he was very respectful. Maybe I am just being naive and they are that shitty of parents that they wouldn't try to help you out.
Either way it wouldn't hurt to try it.
That's rough. I don't even know how I would handle that situation. It sounds like a very rough day to day environment.
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